Hail to the Chief

Tonight, Charlie's best friend was sworn in as the Chief of Police in his hometown. It's the town that Charlie grew up in. He and Kevin have known each other since... forever.

When we found out that Kevin would be Chief, Charlie was ecstatic. He was seriously as happy as if it were him being made Chief instead of Kevin. We talked about going to the swearing in and taking Kevin and Dawn to dinner to celebrate later. We did everything as a foursome and there was no question that we'd celebrate this special event in some way. And then Charlie died.

I wanted to go tonight because Kevin is one of my closest friends in the world, but I actually went because of Charlie. He wanted to be there and I knew he'd want *me* to be there. Otherwise I'd have stayed home and everyone would have understood.

It was hard to be there. Most of the people I saw were at Chal's funeral. I haven't wanted to face anyone. It's so hard - the looks, the questions, the hugs. I hate it. But the hardest part of being there was being there alone. I was surrounded by people, but I really felt alone. I felt like an outsider, like I'm not part of the crowd anymore. Stupid, I know, but it's exactly how I felt. And it sucked.

I'm glad I went. I know it doesn't sound that way, but I am. Kevin is an amazing guy. He did so much for Charlie. So much for me. I value his friendship and I am so happy that he was sworn in as Chief of Police. He deserves good things and I love him with all of my heart.

But things will never be the same.

Phone Call from Heaven

Today I went to see Charlie. I do that often. His grave site is sunken down because of the rain from the weekend. I left him another seashell and a gerber daisy.

After visiting, I went to my parents' house for lunch. My brother, Billy, stopped in with his family. I had brought with me a play cell phone that Charlie bought for Sarah the last time he was shopping. He loved to surprise her with little things - the way he did for me.

I gave her the phone, she played with it a minute, then was off to bigger and better things. That's just the way it is with a very nearly 3-year old (September 11th, she'll be 3!).

When it was time for her to leave, she grabbed her new cell phone and pushed a few buttons. It made a ringing noise. "It's Uncle Charlie," she said. "What's he doing?" I asked her. "He's painting the sky and the water with Jesus and Kevin." 'And Kevin' is what she says instead of "in heaven." She brought the phone to me to say hi to Uncle Charlie and Jesus. They told *me* it was time for *her* to go home and take a nap. ;)

So there you go. Today, I, Susan Hetherington Senior, got a phone call from Charlie and Jesus 'and Kevin.'

I don't know how to be me without him

I truly do not know how to be happy without Charlie in my life. He was so special and so warm and so smart and so funny and so thoughtful and I loved him so much. I want to get back to "normal" or something like that, but how? I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I sit and stare at something, then realize it's been an hour. Today I saw one of the closest friends I have and I couldn't look her in the eye. I cry every single day. Everything reminds me of him.

The thought of life without him is... I don't know. I don't feel like I can do it.

It was one week ago today...

I am really struggling these past few days. I thought the viewing and funeral would be the tough days - I was wrong. It's now, when there's nothing to do but think and feel and cry, that I am having the hardest time. I miss Charlie so much. I feel empty without him. I want him back.

Rest In Peace, my Love

I love you and will miss you forever.



To the moon and back until the end of time...

Charles Senior
March 31, 1963 - August 16, 2008

Services for Charlie

As requested from some of you, here are the arrangements for this week -

Viewing for Charlie on Tuesday evening, 7p - 9p, at Wood Funeral Home, 134 East Main Street, Tuckerton, NJ 08087.

Also, viewing Wednesday morning, 9:30a - 11:00a.
Funeral service starts at 11:00a.
Immediately following funeral service, Charlie will be buried at Greenwood Cemetery, 306 N Green Street in Tuckerton.

In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the American Cancer Society, 1035 Hooper Avenue, Toms River, NJ 08753 in memory of Charlie Senior.

Charlie

He is in Heaven with God and the Angels now. Thank you so much for your prayers - for everything - I know he knew you were there.