Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Our Anniversary

Charlie and I were married on November 8th, 2001 in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. It was a wonderful trip and I'd do it all exactly the same if given the chance.

I miss Charlie a lot. It's been nearly 3 months since he died and I miss him every single day. He was too young, too good, too special to die.

Knowing that I will be a wreck this weekend, I've planned a trip to visit my Aunt and Uncle in Lancaster for the weekend. Charlie loved them, they loved Charlie. They know there will be tears and still they want me to come!

His headstone will be completed and put in either Friday or Saturday. I feel good that he will finally have it - it took a long time, but now there is a sense of... not closure... um, just a good feeling knowing that he will have a special marker. He deserves the best and I hope that what I picked is right for him. I think it is.

Halloween party at the neighbors was a lot of fun. I was supposed to be a "Renaissance Queen," but instead looked more like a Renaissance Elvira. Yikes! I missed Charlie a lot - he loved Halloween and had so much fun last year. I just have to get used to the idea that he can't be with me anymore. I don't like it, but I've got to learn to accept it. I'm working on it, but I expect no major breakthroughs before the holidays end...

Work is work. I've yet to make it through a full day with a tear or two, but I think I'm doing better. Getting into a routine...

Got up crazy early today to get to the polls by 6:30a. I was actually a little earlier than I planned and there were NO lines. By the time I drove into work (an hour commute), the polling stations had lines around the corner. I'm glad I went when I did!



Diana said...

It must be so very hard to move forward with your life without your true love sharing the moments with you. Your life force shows through as you plan to do things with folks even though you know it's going to be a teary time. You're so strong.

And, be sure to put us on the "tears and all" list, because we'll take you out here in CA anytime, tears and all.

Team Immel said...

i'd take you out here in oregon too. tears and all.

you are strong and it's obvious you loved charlie so much and how could you not miss him? i wish i could have known him, he sounds amazing. you were lucky to have found him and loved him and he you for awhile. your relationship sounds so special and fun.

i will hold you in my heart on nov. 8th and think that i am so glad you found each other and also feel so sorry that you lost him physically. he will always be in your heart and soul and you his. i know that doesn't help. nothing does. but had to say it.